Sam's Road Home: July 2017

Before I talk about living your best life and overcoming fear, here’s an update on Sam and Bridget.

Sam, photo by Bridget.

Sam is doing well, still in school and working. Bridget just graduated from college (Portland State University) and is working part-time and looking for a full-time job. They may be moving to smaller community just outside of Portland in a few months, and Sam hopes to graduate from PSU in December. They recently took a trip through Wyoming and into Montana, camping and visiting friends along the way. In Montana, they were there with me and my new husband, Dan, and Molly and her amazing boyfriend, Andy. It was a happy time. They are doing well.

In the past 3 months, I’ve gotten married, resigned from my job (and my husband retired from his), accepted a new job in Idaho (very far away from family and friends), moved, found temporary housing to live in, bought a house and now am trying to sell one. I’ve also been on 2 vacations, driven across the country, and said goodbye (maybe forever) to many people I love in Arkansas.

It’s been a busy few months.

Arkansas work family.

Arkansas family.

I knew leaving Arkansas would be hard. I knew I would be sad, and it was as hard and as sad as I expected. My work friends cried with me every day, my family cried, and I cried alone.

But I had to take this opportunity to change my life, sometimes you take risks for unknown rewards. Sometimes you overcome your fear of the unknown to live a different, hopefully better, life. Dan and I always wanted to move to the Northwest, and this was our opportunity. Neither of my children were in Arkansas anymore, they were brave enough to take a chance on a different life, shouldn’t I be just as brave?

If you are afraid, do not be. Live your best life. I had a beautiful aunt who helped raise my mother and her sister. She lived her whole life in a small house, caring for her mother and her husband, never having children of her own. In her bedroom, in her dresser, she kept brand new clothes. She had suits, nightgowns, dresses … all with the tags still on. She longed to wear these nice things, but she knew she wouldn’t get a chance in the life she was living. She thought that someday, when her husband was gone (a husband I think she only tolerated), she would move to San Diego, live with her sister, and enjoy the life she always imagined.

But, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, suffered for several years, and eventually took her own life. She never got to live her best life. I always think of her when I am afraid … I wish she had lived her dream, that she had not been waiting for her circumstances to change to move forward. I wish she had not been afraid to change her life when she had the chance.

Whether you want to change your life by getting a divorce or by getting married, living in a different place or finding a new job, having a child or adopting or fostering or none of those … Take the chance. Change your future. You will never know what adventures await if you don’t step out of your comfort zone and experience the unknown.

I can honestly say I that I’ve never regretted any decision I have made to overcome a fear, to take a different journey. I would encourage you all to do the same.

Living in Idaho brings me closer to my son, closer to my dad and happier in my life. My next goal is to get Molly and Andy closer. I recently spent some time with family, altogether in Montana, and I’m at peace with the choices I’ve made. I wish you peace, too.