A favorite song of Sam's

Bridget wanted to share one of Sam's very favorite songs; To Ramona, by Bob Dylan. Please listen and think of him.

"Your cracked country lips
I still wish to kiss
As to be by the strength of you skin
Your magnetic movements
Still capture the minutes I'm in."

Jersey, Birds and Salt! (Update for Saturday, January 23)

FRIDAY AFTERNOON/EVENING

Joshua B. buys jersey for Sam

Sam wanted rice and pudding for a late lunch. Ate about three bites of rice and all of his pudding. Can feed himself. We are happy he's eating. 

He is having trouble hearing. He complains about his right ear but his left side has the fracture. His skull was fractured and it probably will affect his hearing. 

All IV fluids have been removed. He's only has oxygen and his heart monitor. 

All of the Portland stations did follow-up stories and Arkansas Online called today. Thank you to the 49ers fan club here (Niner Empire) in Portland and Joshua B. who bought Sam an Aaron Rodgers jersey on behalf of his fan club. The Green Bay Packers released a statement and have shipped a gift to Sam. The GoFundMe account is over $35,000. My hotel, my HOTEL (Crowne Plaza Convention Center) sent Sam flowers. The generosity is overwhelming. We are beyond grateful. No words. 

Sam had sessions with physical therapy (took a lap with his walker and helmet), occupational therapy (brushed his teeth), and speech pathology (his enemies). For some reason, he really dislikes speech therapy. He gets frustrated and doesn't want to answer the questions. He refused to write a sentence. Today was hard. He couldn't answer some of the questions (for example, Is March before June?); struggled with the math; but he owned the "Name as many animals as you can in 1 minute" category. She asked him to name animals, he repeated the question to her then didn't say anything for 30 seconds. She reminded him what they were doing, naming animals, and started the clock again. He then began naming every freakin' BIRD on the planet. Ostrich, parrot, falcon, hawk, penguin, parakeet, seagull, and on and on. He named birds I've never heard of. I asked the therapist what that meant, and she said it was a great strategy. He listened, gathered his thoughts, formed a strategy and answered the question.

Today, the police released pictures of persons of interest in my son's case. If you know these men, please call the Portland Police Department. 

http://www.portlandoregon.gov/police/news/read.cfm?id=6930&ec=1

Here are some of the news stories. Some are accurate, many of them are not. 

http://www.kgw.com/news/family-says-man-attacked-for-being-green-bay-packers-fan/20493305

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2016/01/nw_portland_assault_leaves_a_f.html

http://katu.com/news/local/man-wearing-packers-hat-assaulted-by-seahawks-fans-now-in-icu

http://koin.com/2016/01/21/packers-fan-brutally-attacked-outside-portland-bar/

http://www.dailydot.com/lifestyle/reddit-packers-fan-attack-portland/

http://katv.com/community/7-on-your-side/pack-attack

http://m.arkansasonline.com/news/2016/jan/23/little-rock-man-assaulted-wearing-packers-hat/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3413502/Man-wearing-Green-Bay-Packers-hat-beaten-coma-rival-football-fans.html

http://www.georgianewsday.com/news/regional/383070-man-wearing-green-bay-packers-hat-is-beaten-into-a-coma-by-rival-football-fans.html

http://www.fox47.com/newsroom/top_stories/videos/report-packer-fan-attacked-seahawks-fans-suffers-fractured-skull-7446.shtml

http://photos.oregonlive.com/4450/gallery/sam_whitehorn_before_northwest/index.html#/0

Bridget's mom held a fundraiser for Sam

Bridget's mom, Maggie, coordinated a fundraiser for Sam. Another blessing. 

SATURDAY MORNING

I woke up angry. Angry at the situation but mostly angry at those who put us in it. It's just infuriating and heartbreaking and defeating. It physically hurts. Molly and I spent an hour on the phone last night just crying together. It's so painful. 

Sam was angry too when I arrived this morning. Angry cause he's tired, because he doesn't understand why he's here, because he's thirsty, because his lungs hurt, and because he can't hear. His brain swelling is messing with his hearing. It's frustrating. 

SALT (sodium)! It's Sam's greatest nemesis right now. He can't get enough. We are over-salting his food, he's taking salt tabs and medicine to keep salt in. When someone has a brain injury, what happens is called "cerebral salt wasting." His brain is telling his body to get rid of salt, and it does. So they have to keep pumping him full of salt.  

For breakfast he ate VERY salty eggs and bacon. The most he has eaten all week. They are finally given him pain meds plus Claritin plus salt sooo .... he had pills for dessert. For lunch, he had a Boost and pudding. 

Because of the fluid restriction (which keeps getting more restrictive), now he can only drink milk and Boost. He will never want those two things ever again after this is all over. Bridget and I don't want to drink anything in front of him. It just doesn't seem fair, so we are just going to be thirsty with him. 

He asked about his Grandpa and Grandma Wallace, his Grandma and Grandpa Hinds, his dad Daniel Whitehorn, his sister Molly and my boyfriend Dan. He remembered that Dan, his Dad and his sister are coming to visit (we are taking shifts) and wanted to know when. He wanted to know when his grandparents were coming. I know that will break their hearts to hear that, but he's expressing his love. 

He's having respiratory therapy every 6 hours. It helps a little. Because of the cough, ordered another chest X-ray. They took him off the oxygen for a brief period of time to see how he does ... But back on oxygen. 

He has been diagnosed as a Level V on the Rancho Neurological Scale. This is good. He is moving up the scale appropriately. Here is some more information. 

http://www.tbims.org/combi/lcfs/lcfs.pdf

Sam has had a good day overall. He's been asking questions, resting, and eating. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. 

  

The Abbey Bar, where Sam works, is having a fundraiser for him next Wednesday. 

The GoFundMe account now has over $43,000. People are so generous. No words. 

My Brother Looks Like Me

Sam and Molly

My brother looks like me. Or maybe it’s me who looks like him. He has my same auburn hair and the same brown freckles that dance across his face. We have the same distinct noses with small bumps at the ridge and the same prominent lips that are almost always chapped. His skin is darker than mine, but he still calls us both tingers (because, in his words, we have a “tinge of the ging”). Besides that, our main difference in appearance comes down to our eyes, because they are a distinct physical trait for both of us. He has my dad’s celery greens and I have my mom’s baby blues. 

His eyes are friendly and non-judgmental and mine are often cold and distant, which is not inaccurate to our temperaments. Not that we are completely different in personality; we are both readers and laugh so hard that we (almost always) cry. We both have seen more movies than is probably healthy and we can both have the best time exploring a new city or just watching reruns of Friends all day (and arguing about whether it’s Ross or Rachel who is really the main character). And anyone who knows us at all knows we both have absurd devotions to Bob Dylan and we pretend like we know him. But he was always the better one and still is. 

People always liked Sam. We joke about how all of our cousins like Sam more than me. It is partially a joke, but it is also a bit serious (as most good jokes are). And it’s totally understandable that they—and most people—would find Sam’s personality much more appealing. He’s the most charismatic person I’ve ever known—he can work a room like a wannabe president campaigning in Iowa. He can talk to strangers for hours and never appear uninterested, because he genuinely isn’t. He cares about other people, their stories, their lives, their hopes and pains.  And he is always the funniest person in the room. This trait is made all the more striking because people are naturally drawn to everything about him—his smile, his tone, his laugh—they are all like an old friend bringing you in for a hug.  I am not like this and never have been. I’m much more removed and frequently much more pessimistic. I worry and fret, whereas he is free and relaxed. I frown and bite back, whereas he flashes his famous dimples and asks to hear more. This is also reflected in where we chose to start our lives after leaving the South—I packed up my negative energy and caught a straight flight to New York City whereas he threw his open-mind over his shoulder and hit the unpredictable road towards Portland, Oregon.

I don’t know why I was so lucky to get him. Of all the other brothers that could have been made, I know no other version could be better for me.  He will sit with me and watch Buffy and be patient when I complain about the most trivial things. He won’t make me watch sports or even interrupt me when my narcissism is at its worst and I talk about myself for hours. He’s the best friend I’ve ever known and he practically built every redeeming trait within me. That’s not to say we don’t argue—we absolutely do. But even after our worst fights, he would be the one to come into my room and wipe away my tears—and most of the time I had started it. He would forgive me so easily and it would take me hours or days or, let’s be real, even months to let things go. I don’t know why I was so lucky to get him. 

I’ll be seeing him in a few weeks and I know it will be one of the hardest trips, but also one of the most necessary ones. It’s hard to see loved ones in pain—and it’s something I’ve been lucky enough to not have to deal with frequently. It’s harder to see the better half of you in a weak state. But even a weak version of him is better than most people’s strongest selves. I love him more than anything and thinking about how much I love him makes my heart feel like it will burst out of my chest. I wish I could thank each of you individually for everything you’ve done and offered. I’ll be putting up more thoughts on this blog as Sam progresses but until then, let’s keep fighting together.

Molly Whitehorn

Update for Friday, January 22

THURSDAY NIGHT
On Thursday, he ate some Mac and cheese, 1 slice of quesadilla, and three pieces of melon. Drank a Boost. Is very tired. Bridget took a break for a few hours. It was good for her. Still has a cough but lungs are clearer. Took a second shorter walk. It exhausted him.

Detective Harris came by. He asked Sam some questions about  the incident but Sam remembers nothing. The detective now has a another witness. I gave him my phone number, and he's going to keep me updated.

Great news. Sam was moved to the neurotrauma step-down unit. He's still on fluid restrictions. This is a good sign. He understands that this is a good thing. He was coherent mostly all day. It was a good day.

I heard today from my PR friends extraordinaire Kristy F. and Neal M. that the Green Bay Packers are sending Sam a gift. There are fundraisers for him from NYC to Cannon Beach, Oregon. Our GoFundMe account has doubled the goal. The media cares. I now know what "shock and awe" feels like. I am so very thankful. People all over the country are offering support, prayers, funding. Portlandians want to bring me food, do my laundry, open their homes, find me an attorney. It's amazing. People are good; they really are.

My friend Linda K. sent me some "stress relief." I cried; I'm so grateful. Everything makes me cry.

Dan is coming to join me, to help me and Bridget. THAT made me cry. I can't express in words what his support and love has meant to me.

FRIDAY MORNING
Two steps forward, one step back. They can't get his sodium levels right so he may have to go back to ICU. Bridget and I are waiting it out. Will have to douse everything in salt. Which makes him thirsty. And he can't have water! It's so frustrating. I never knew sodium levels were so important to your brain. You should have a sodium level of 135 or above. His is at 134 so pretty good. OK ... After that scare, the doctors said he can stay in the Trauma Acute Care Unit. They call it TRACU. I'm happy.

His cousins sent him a video and he smiled and made me play it three times. Thank you Emma, Celia and Jaxon.

I do cry here a lot. I can't talk to anyone without crying so I'm sorry if it's difficult for me to talk on the phone or call people back. I apologize for that. I try to NOT cry in front of Sam. I leave the room if I'm feeling emotional. I want him to see smiling faces and love and positivity.

The nurse said she's never seen a patient with a brain flap out so cognitive and aware and doing so well. It's all relative. We KNOW him so we know what's different; she's comparing him to others and he's doing great.

He got up and, with help, brushed his teeth and changed his gown. He sat in a chair for about 30 minutes. It was tiring for him. He wanted to call his boss at work for some reason. It made him emotional.

All the rules from ICU apply here. This hospital is amazing, and the nurses are so focused and loving. It's a blessing.

He did a good job with his OT, PT and breathing treatments. He asked to look at his phone. Not sure what he looked at but he stared at it for about 5 minutes.

He has eaten one piece of bacon today. He watched a funny dog video and laughed.

Update for Thursday, January 21

Sam and Weezy

More chest X-rays and respiratory therapy. His lungs are better today.  

Angry in the morning. Didn't want answer questions. Then he calmed down. Took his salt meds. I read his favorite poetry to him by TS Eliot. He calmed down and asked me to keep reading. 

Then he asked for his phone. Looked at messages from his friends. Didn't respond. He seemed to understand. 

He took a walk! A short loop with a walker and his helmet around the ICU. It exhausted him. 

Didn't eat anything all day. Fluids restricted. Had some Boost. 

Sam's story has gone viral. Kelly and Bridget did on-camera interviews with all of the local media and a phone interview with the Oregonian, Portland’s daily newspaper. Little Rock's Channel 7 ran a teaser on the newscast at 6, and will run more of the story tonight at 10.

The GoFundMe media relations person has reached out and wants to use Sam's story as to the power of crowdfunding. I haven't responded to that request.

Sam is resting this afternoon. He may be moved to the step-down unit today. Baby steps. He gets very anxious when Bridget leaves the room. 

Update for Wednesday, January 20

Seems coherent and is answering most questions correctly. He is calm. He put on his helmet and walked to window. Sat in chair for 30 minutes. He hates the helmet. No surprise. He ate a few bites of cereal for breakfast.

He sat up again for lunch and had a few bites of spaghetti. He couldn't pull the words back so he was calling spaghetti "toilet." After all, it is hospital food.

His physical therapist is Alana and they will begin that process soon. It's mostly to integrate him back into daily living. His motor skills are ok. Sam will probably be in a rehab facility after the hospital. I'm heartbroken. Alana posted the rules for his room. No stimulation. No visitors. His brain needs to heal. Bridget and I sit quietly and respond to him.

He is moaning a lot today and seems sad. Bridget is very emotional. She needs a break but won't leave his side.

Bridget and I have spent much of the day in tears thanks to the generosity of friends, family and strangers who have heard of Sam's plight. Kelly opened up a GoFundMe account https://www.gofundme.com/samrecoveryfund to help Sam and Bridget. It will be a lifesaver for them. Almost $7000 raised today. 

Ultrasound to check for bloodclots came back negative, thank goodness. Monitoring salt levels to see if he can be moved to the TRAC unit, a step-down unit for Neurotrauma patients. He's in a lot of pain and pleading for help but they can't give him pain meds, only Tylenol. It's so hard to see this happening. 

Bridget was very emotional and is crying and worried for his future. We all know how brilliant Sam is, and we want that back. 

The response to the GoFundMe account has been amazing. Went over their goal in one day. Bridget is in shock and so grateful. She can now focus on Sam and not worry about money. I feel like my faith in humanity has been restored. The media in both Portland and Little Rock want interviews to get the story out. The hospital is handling requests.  

Sam refused to cooperate with the speech therapist. She had to leave without what she needed. He recognized her when she walked in. 

He was very uncomfortable and in pain all day. Kept complaining all day but could not pinpoint the source of pain. Said he hurts everywhere. He was nauseated, his stomach hurt, his head hurt. 

The doctor decided he could not leave ICU. His coughing got to the worrisome stage and they ordered a chest X-ray. When he coughs, it hurts his head. Bad news, pre-pneumonia and fluid in lungs. Had to start breathing treatments with respiratory therapist, but he cooperated because he was so miserable. 

His fluid intake has been restricted. He's very thirsty and had very little to eat. 

Update for Tuesday, January 19

Rough day. 

Nauseated late evening Monday. He slept better, but was upset, angry and restless early today as he wanted the bolt out of his head and he's just uncomfortable. Kept pleading "help me" then "go away." Bridget and Josie stayed in the hospital all night with him so I could rest. I joined them at 5 am. Sam's nurses Jason, Eric and Amanda are gifts from heaven.

Trauma doctors came and asked Sam a bunch of questions. He seemed confused and could not answer or follow instructions. He didn't seem to know what "wiggle" meant, couldn't state his full name or birthdate. When they asked him who his favorite football player was, he kept saying KD. He could not answer the questions as to where he was or what city. He kept saying "11" and I think  he thought he was saying Portland. 

Eric the nurse said it would be worse today and tomorrow because of the brain bruising. The area of the brain that is injured is the part that controls speech and "finding words." The trauma doctor said he had suffered a "traumatic brain injury" and he will not be the same for weeks or months. He said it would require lots of patience. 

Sam told me I was "annoying" when I  tried to help him. I  took it as a good sign, at first, then he didn't seem to know who I was and kept asking me to leave. I did leave for awhile as my presence seemed to upset him. The trauma doctor said these personality fluctuations are to be expected. He continues to be confused as to who I am. He seems to know Bridget although not her name, and calls her "my friend."

He was belligerent and hostile in the morning. Didn't want to stay in bed. Kept telling everyone to leave him alone and that he was leaving. He told Bridget he was ready to leave as he had been here "all day."

He was able to hold his cup. Today, no water but he can have other liquids. The water was increasing the brain swelling. Although he had trouble keeping anything down yesterday, today he ate two bites of eggs, some OJ and a sip of chocolate milk. 

Trauma doctor Dr. Schwartz  removed bolt at 10:20 am. All his vitals were good. Gave him a little bit of pain meds which put him to sleep. He will be in ICU at least one more night. A gentleman from Evergreen Orthotics came by to measure Sam for his helmet, which he will have today, then he can get out of bed and sit up. 

Bridget has been a godsend as is their friend Josie. These girls show complete devotion to Sam. I am thankful. He's received a basket of goodies from the Corporate Marketing team and gifts from his friends. I feel he is much loved. Thank you everyone for continued thoughts and prayers. 

Late yesterday, his neurosurgeon, Dr. Kent Grewe, removed the drainage tubes. Kelly finally spoke with him and he said Sam did have several skull fractures, he said Sam had some brain damage. I am devastated. He also said it could be 2 weeks to 2 months before they put his skull back in place. He said Sam can't go back to school this semester; but maybe someday. There's no rushing this recovery process.

Yesterday evening he tried to get up, with his helmet on, and go to the bathroom. Got too dizzy and couldn't do it.

He has been very emotional when Bridget leaves the room and keeps asking "how is this my life?" and "what happened?" We think it shows coherent thinking. He could answer most of the doctors questions last night, except his phone number.

If Bridget leaves the room, he wants me to call her on her cell phone. He asks where she is repeatedly. Bridget is completely devoted. Sam would prefer Bridget stay the night in the hospital so I  defer to his requests. I stayed about 16 hours yesterday.

The rehab process has begun, and he has a speech therapist named Millie. Last night, he was very coherent and answered her questions almost perfectly. The questions he couldn't answer was  "Is there only paper money?" and "Name the thing she is sitting on."