Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother’s Day to My Mom

Being a mother is one of those things that is difficult to explain until you have lived it. Once you have had a child, all of a sudden all of those things your mother did comes into focus. Now you understand why she worried so much, and how it was always an act of love. You suddenly understand what you meant to her. Being a mother is the most wonderful gift I have been given, and I adore my children. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them, nothing I wouldn’t give up to make them safe and happy. And there’s nothing that can make me feel any different, it’s the same love I felt when they were born as I feel today. It’s fierce, selfless, unconditional and overwhelming. It’s happy, and it’s intimidating. It’s not always perfect, I have made mistakes and I have regrets. But, without a doubt, everything I have done has been with this parental love that defies all logic.  

And, I’m not alone. There are many mothers out there like me, and I feel your pain and your joy. We are moms together. 

One of those moms I want to recognize on this day is my own, Sandra. My mom never knew her own mother. She and her sister, Gloria, were raised by their loving grandparents after their mother died from complications related to tuberculosis ... just a few days before her 21st birthday. It’s one of those things that I have trouble understanding because I have not lived it. My mother and her sister did not have a mother in the traditional sense. My great-grandmother was a saint, and I loved her dearly … she was a grandmother to me, and a mother to my mom and her sister. But, I know, it’s still not the same. They share a history that is theirs alone. 

My mom was a young mom, then a single mom, always doing the best she could. She was fortunate because she had a loving family to help her as needed, but on most days, she was on her own. 

She’s been loving, and she's been real. She raised me to stand on my own two feet, to think independently and work hard for what I wanted. Although she wanted me to be my own person and find my own way, she has been there when I have needed her … providing money when I didn’t have a penny to my name, listening when I thought no one cared, and crying with me when I have been at my lowest in the past few months. She always brings laughter to our Christmas gatherings and the best desserts you could ever imagine. She has taken care of my stepfather during his illnesses, and worried about me during mine. She has spent countless hours researching remedies for a condition I have that is incurable (not life threatening), but she has not given up hope. 

Best of all and most of all, she’s loved me every single day, and I’m grateful she’s still here with me, young and beautiful and vibrant. I want to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. I love you mom!

An Unexpected Gift

On any given day, I hurry past people in the grocery store or in the halls of my office building, rarely stopping to take notice or say a few words. I do not know what dreams or hopes are theirs, or what struggles they face. I’m trying to do better, and be more present as I go about my days. If I’ve learned anything in the past few months, it’s that we are all in this together, and nothing is more important than what we can do for each other. 

On Saturday, I gave myself a Mother’s Day treat and went to have a pedicure and manicure. The place was packed, and I was seated next to a group of three 30-something friends, one who was obviously close to her due date. They were laughing and having fun. I felt a little jealous, as I was there alone. I heard the expectant mom talk about her daughter, Mallory, comparing her mom experiences to another’s. As fate would have it, I was seated next to her when we were having our nails done. She noticed my chosen color, and asked, laughing, “Is that Margarita Pink? That’s my favorite.” So, we started talking. This young, beautiful mom is an inspiration; she has turned tragedy into a lesson in love. It turns out she was going to spend her evening at the “Race to Remember” — a fundraising event for Mamie’s Poppy Plates, an organization that provides support and “remembrance plates” for those who have lost a child. She is a volunteer for this organization as she has lost her own daughter, Mallory Grace, whom she spoke of so freely, at 4 years of age, just 33 days short of her 5th birthday. 

Instead of losing herself in her grief, Lynn spends her days helping others and talking about Mallory to make sure no one forgets about the gift her daughter was to all who knew and loved her. She smiles when she talks about her, and is looking forward to making sure her new baby, a boy, knows what a great big sister he had. 

That’s how I started my day. Making friends with this young mom who is making sure her life’s work honors the child she has lost. She is strong, hopeful and caring. She gave me a great gift today with her story of grace in the face of unthinkable adversity. She told me her strength comes from knowing she is not alone. I’m hoping she has a wonderful Mother’s Day. 

http://mamiespoppyplates.com/#mamies

https://lovelightsformallory.wordpress.com/

Mother’s Day

I’m happy and grateful today to be the mother of my two beautiful children, whom I love beyond reason. Sam and Molly, I love you both. You are everything to me. 

And this year, not unexpectedly, I have another “child" in my life, who is like another daughter to me, sweet Bridget. I can never thank her enough for the gift she has given me … loving and caring for my son with complete devotion. I love her, need her, and am thankful for her. 

And, finally, I’m thinking today of my friend Carl Carter who has lost his dear mom under horrific circumstances … of my long-time (and much loved) boyfriend Dan who is without his beloved mother today … and many others. You were fiercely loved by your mothers; hold onto that. 

And, I’m thinking of all of the wonderful mothers and stepmothers I know from work and family who are all doing the very best they can as they raise and love their children. I’m grateful we are all in this together. 

Happy Mother’s Day!