A Seizure-Free Year for Molly

"Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?" - Buffy, The Vampire Slayer

My precious daughter, Molly, has epilepsy. Thanks to good medicine and excellent doctors, we are celebrating a full year of her being seizure-free this month.

This diagnosis came as a shock to us. She did not have seizures as a child, or during high school. They started in college, and came with a vengeance ... grand mal with loss of memory and consciousness and without, at first, any warning signs. It was frightening for her, her friends and, of course, her family and me (mom) particularly.

Her first seizure was on May 4, 2014, as she finished working one of her many music events. This one was at Elvis' first house, as she was producing one of her Evening at Elvis' shows (an ongoing event she co-founded while at Rhodes College). Thank goodness her friends were there, and they stayed with her at the hospital until Dan and I could get to Memphis. After spending three days in the hospital, with me sleeping on a chair in her room, she was released ... and we knew nothing more than when she went into the hospital. She came home for a few days, rested, seemed to feel fine, and we hoped it was an anomaly. I felt that maybe she wasn't eating right, studying too late, working too much ... and it maybe it had just caught up with her.

Post seizure. Her poor little head. 

But it wasn't. She continued to have seizures during that year ... at work, at home, with friends. No singular cause was found, and she was falling and injuring herself. She had a seizure one time when she was home alone and injured her head by collapsing against a wall air vent. She had another seizure at work, falling and hitting her head against an old radiator. Again and again. She was in the hospital numerous times. It was very scary, and I felt helpless. And, it changed her life. She had to visit numerous doctors (trying to diagnosis or find the correct medicine), she could no longer drive (and that is devastating for a college student), and she was scared. I was scared too, and worried about her day and night. But, I also knew she was strong and I was there for her, and we would get through this together. The diagnosis was finally, just, seizure disorder or epilepsy with no known cause. Epilepsy is an abnormal surge of electrical activity in the brain, causing temporary brain dysfunction. The doctors NEVER found any way to identify the cause. She now has a wonderful doctor in New York City, who specializes in helping young women with epilepsy.

So, there was a year of seizures, and now a year of freedom from seizures. She's shown she knows how to overcome, how to use her internal strength to move forward. She does take medicine every day, but she doesn't need to drive now that she lives in New York City. She's in a happy place. She's living her dream, a young, brilliant, beautiful and independent woman. She also remembered, later, that prior to having the seizures, she was having vertigo ... that knowledge is a blessing. Now, if she has vertigo or wakes up feeling dizzy, she knows to go back to bed to sleep it off. Take no chances.

Mary, Molly's long-time friend, and Molly in D.C.

Molly and I talk or exchange texts every single day. We are close, and even with the distance between us, we are closer. When she calls me, she always wants to Facetime, so she can see me, read my expressions, feel closer to home. When her brother, Sam, was injured and I was devastated, she called me and cried with me, for him. She was there for me and Sam, even when she had been through her own health struggles. My witty, smart, hard-working, sociable, caring, and strong daughter is such a blessing.

I've had my share of heartache and pain, and just plain fear and panic, in the past few years when it comes to my beloved children. If you are a parent, you know how much you FEEL no matter what it is that your child is doing, or what he or she is experiencing. It's a response like no other. Because of what I have been through ... I have been needed and appreciated more than ever by my children; I have been both stronger and weaker than I knew possible; I have been loved and supported by my family and friends; and I have been thankful for and dependent upon family, friends and strangers alike.

Dan, my long-time love, has been by my side throughout everything. He has never done anything but be supportive. I'm panicked and need to get to Memphis? He's driving. I'm crying every day in Portland? He brings a shoulder to cry on. I need some cheering up? He buys me a bike. And, it's not just me, it's for Sam and Molly, too. Sam and Bridget need their curtains hung? He's there, with tools in hand. Molly and friends need a night out? He picks up the tab. He's the best, and he has never shown me, Sam, Bridget or Molly nothing but love. Just a few days ago, Molly wanted to have all of her college papers retrieved from her old computer, transferred to a flash drive and sent to her. Guess who took care of it? Again, he's the best.

Karen, my dear friend and former boss (who is one of the strongest women I know) told me, after everything that happened with Sam and Molly, "Kelly, I'm sure now that there is nothing that can break you."

Maybe. Maybe not. I've felt so much love and support these past few years, and I can assure you that it's those around you who make the difference. If I didn't have the prayers, the support, the good thoughts, and the love from you all ... I'm not sure I would have survived all of this. But I did, I am, and I thank you all with much love.

Thank you for reading this blog and thinking of my sweet daughter and son.