Connecting at Turtle Lake

A lake is the landscape’s most beautiful and expressive feature. It is earth’s eye, looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature. — Henry David Thoreau

I’m a California girl. Even though I’ve spent the majority of my life in Arkansas, I still consider myself a child of the West Coast. I was born in Fresno, but spent most of my formative years in California beach towns … Morro Bay, Shell Beach, San Luis Obispo. I love the Pacific ocean. I love the cold water, and the cool breezes. I know why people are drawn to it. 

I have never been much on going to the lake, but they are popular weekend retreats in Arkansas. My reluctance is not because the Arkansas lakes aren’t beautiful, because they are, but because I don’t like being out in the Arkansas heat, even if it is on a lake, and I don’t like tepid lake water to swim in or dangle my feet. All I can think about is what bacteria might be lurking. 

But, lakes are so peaceful, especially Minnesota lakes. I just spent a week there, so I'm still relishing the memory. There’s something about sitting on the edge of a lake in the cool evening with only the sound of a loon in the distance. No crashing waves, just the slight wake from the pontoon boats. During the day, I loved to listen to the splashing and laughter of the vacationing families. 

No filter. Turtle Lake. 

I was in Minnesota with family, and to clarify, that includes: me, Dan, Sam, Bridget, Molly; my brothers Kirk, Jason and Scott with their wives Tonya, Angela and Maurene and their children Jake, Emma, Josi, Celia, Lona and Jaxon; my dad and stepmother; AND my stepmom’s brother and sister and their spouses, children and grandchildren. We were at Arcadia Lodge, on Turtle Lake near Big Fork, Minnesota. If that sounds remote, it is. We had to drive four hours from Minneapolis to find this place. You drive forever, then you drive forever more on a dirt road. There was very little cell phone service and the lodge was straight out of the '50s. You could borrow things (paddles, canoes, basketballs, volleyballs, etc.) on the honor system, and if you misplaced something, no big deal. It was beautiful, and quiet, and it felt nostalgic, like something out of a movie. 

Sam and Jaxon. 

The best thing, of course, was the time I got to spend with my family and especially my children Sam and Molly. As you may know, Sam had a seizure just two days before we were scheduled to leave. Seizures are not unusual when recovering from a TBI, but it is just another stumbling block on his journey to recovery. And, I was unprepared and scared and far away, but Bridget was there to see him through it, in the ER and back home to heal and rest again before this trip. Now, both of my beloved children, are on anti-seizure medication … Sam because of his TBI and Molly, due to her epilepsy. It’s just a lot to digest, so I try to take it one day at a time. Every day is just one step closer to complete recovery for Sam, and seizure-free years for Molly. Let’s hope and pray for good days and good health. Sam was feeling pretty good in Minnesota, if tired, and he and Molly REALLY enjoyed their time with their cousins. Molly was into everything the lake life offered ... jet skiing, swimming, canoeing, boating, fishing, baiting her own hook, you name it. Sam didn’t feel comfortable with many of the activities, and continues to be protective of his head, as he should. He did go canoeing with his cousin Jake and fishing with Bridget and Molly, his cousins and grandfather. 

Sam still has headaches and dizziness, and other residual effects of his injury, but he’s as funny, smart and personable as ever and focused on healing. That’s all I want. That’s it. That’s all anybody really wants in this life … good health and a loving family.

It’s taken me seven paragraphs to get to what I really what to say. We call that “burying the lead” in the journalism world, so I apologize to my fellow communicators. The one thing that stood out above all else on this trip … more than the fishing and canoeing and s’more-making, although those activities played into it … was the essential need we all have for family connections, the overwhelming compulsion that children (and adults, too) have to cling to others with a similar history and the same roots. We all yearn for it and actually need it. Family really is everything.

I remember my own youth with my cousins and aunts and uncles, and how it has made me who I am today. Those memories continue to fulfill a need I have for a defined history, and it lets me know that I belong somewhere, to someone. My cousin Jacque and I used to walk the backroads of Fresno, barefoot, to pet horses in a field near our Aunt’s home. She and I have a shared memory of the "big noodles" our great-grandma made and how much we loved them. My cousin Sherry and I used to stay at our Grandma Hinds’ house ... and listen to our Uncle Vernie play the harmonica, pick cantaloupes from our grandfather's garden and play with the pet rabbits and dog, Duke. 

Cousins. 

In Minnesota, the cousins spent every moment they could just being together … swimming, playing volleyball, playing APPLES to APPLES, enjoying meals together and simply talking and laughing. We would barely be up in the morning, and they would be at our cabin, ready to make new memories each day. Of course, that’s not how they thought about it. They were just having fun. They all laughed so much, and I have no idea why. Sam, Molly and Bridget created a Scavenger Hunt for the younger kids one afternoon. Those kids will never forget that. One night, everyone played a game Sam made up, that I called Psycho Ball, that consisted of a “glow and throw” ball and everyone’s respective imaginations. And it was really fun! 

It was sad to say goodbye, as it always is when you are letting go of something that makes you happy, and I cried and cried. I always do when I know it will be months before I can hug those I love again. 

I can’t help but note the obvious … that the lack of cell phone service at Turtle Lake forced the kids and the adults to leave work and friends on the sidelines for a week, and gave us freedom from technology. This Turtle Lake vacation gave us the gift of authentic, real-time connections. You don’t get that from email or text or Facebook, you just don’t. My sister-in-law Tonya (of 18 years I might add) told me she was glad we had bonded. That’s funny and sad at the same time. Of course, we love each other and have bonded, but this was different. We had to cook together, clean up together, create a shared shopping list, compromise on “quiet times” and we even had a “slumber party” talking late into the night. It was special.

One thing that Tonya and I talked about each day was how heartwarming it was to watch the memories and renewed love and connections the cousins were making with each other, and how they embraced Bridget as the family that she is. They will forever share the memory of a week in the summer of 2016 when they all had one of the best times of their lives at Turtle Lake in Minnesota. 

In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future. — Alex Haley