Dinner and a Song (Update for Tuesday, January 26)

This morning, Dan and I arrived at the hospital a little later. We stayed late tonight with Sam as Bridget finally went back to class. She has to continue her life. His sodium level remains at 135. We wish it was higher. He ate about 1/2 of a breakfast sandwich. He was very sleepy, and still taking pain meds, Claritin and his salt pills. Sam has terrible allergies, always has. He’s allergic to pollen, dust, cats, and more. He has a long-time necessary habit of using Breathe Right strips to sleep. He continues to use those in the hospital, as they have given it the thumbs up. If you ever took at look at Sam and Bridget’s spending habits … lots of pharmacy expenditures … Kleenex, nose spray, Breathe Right strips, allergy medicines … you might think they were a little older than they are. When I send Sam give packages from home, I always include allergy meds. 

Yesterday I was walking down the hospital hallway, and I heard someone singing to a patient. I thought it was really sweet, but I can’t sing (now, Bridget can sing like an angel) … but I went to Sam’s room and told him, and I said, kind of jokingly, “Do you want me to sing for you?” Just my luck, he said “yes.” He turned off the TV, and Dan said, “Well, what are you going to sing?” I said I was going to sing a John Denver classic, “Take Me Home Country Roads” and then I had to sing it. And I can’t sing. Sam thought it was funny to put me on the spot, and clapped along. So, lesson learned for me. And, it was really good to see his sense of humor intact. One of my long-time friends, Mel, once told me, “Don’t ever make promises to your kids you can’t keep. They will always remember. And, you have to be reliable.” I didn’t have children back then, but I always remembered that advice. It was good advice, and I’ve tried to follow it. 

About 1 p.m., Sam wanted to take a walk, and we went to the first floor of the hospital and walked around, then set down in a little cafe and ordered smoothies. He ordered a banana smoothie, and we added protein to it. The dietitian had stopped by just before this, and said he needs to eat “whatever he wants.” He needs calories, he needs protein. She is going to order special shakes for him to get his strength and energy up.

Every day Sam gets focused on something different. Today, he was focused on “not remembering” stuff. He kept asking why he can’t remember things. He repeats things, a result of his short-term memory loss. And, he asks the same questions over and over. If you talk to him for five minutes, he seems so perfect. If you spend the day with him, you can see how his memory has been affected. He’s always been one of the smartest people I know, and we are working to strengthen his cognitive skills. It’s going to be a long road, but he can do it. He is motivated, as he wants his life back. And the fact that he was so young, healthy and smart before this only helps him. 

His head ached today, he has trouble hearing and he seemed tired. His days are very busy with all the therapy and blood work and care. When he goes to the rehabilitation facility, it will almost be like going to school. He will have different cognitive and physical therapy classes all day.

Physical therapy.

He worked with the physical therapist today, and even completed the obstacle course. His motor skills are good, and his balance is getting better every day. He walked without the walker to the gym and back. His only issue is his ankle, which is still bruised and swollen. He also worked with the occupational therapist (he made tea, did a Google search, etc.) Then, he worked with the speech therapist, and again, this was frustrating for him. He is doing 1000 times better than he did a few days ago, and we are so thankful. The one question he struggled with was “point to an alternative energy source” and had a picture of a sun and a random object. He said, “I don’t get it.” The speech therapist, Michelle, asked him if knew why he was here (he says that his skull is hurt), and asked him what would happen at the rehabilitation facility, and he said it would be fun, and it would get to communicate with different people. She asked him if he knew why the rehab facility would be important, and he said, “I need help.” I can’t tell how those three words are killing me, breaking my heart. It’s just so painful, and no mother should ever have to feel this kind of pain. No mom, no dad, no one. It’s defeating. 

We had unexpected visitors today, Joan and Harry of Hillsboro, Oregon, and they brought Sam an official Green Bay Packers Super Bowl jacket. It had belonged to Joan’s brother, and now they wanted Sam to have it. They were so sweet, and they made Sam smile. He also got a sweet book in the mail from my neighbors, friends and co-workers Joy and Mark, and homemade brownies from the mom (Becky) of his long-time best friend, Jeffrey. I also got a card of support from my co-workers, which I loved. 

Brownies and a sweet card.

Joan and Harry with a gift for Sam.

Always reading. Here, on the beach. 

For dinner, he looked at the hospital menu and ordered the steak and potatoes. He said it would be fun if we all ate together so Dan ran downstairs to get us sandwiches. Sam sat with a potato on his fork until we were all sitting in our chairs, and ready to eat. We did eat together, per his desire. One of Sam’s favorite things is to go out to dinner with Dan, me, Molly and Bridget when we are all together. I’m happy we can sorta\kinda do that again for him. He ate his entire dinner, plus a milkshake. That was a first. 

After dinner, he took a nap. Dan and I just sat with him, quietly … Dan reading, me working on my daily update for Sam’s Road Home. 

When I refer to “home” for Sam, it’s so much more than a physical place. It means back to who he was … his funny, brilliant self. I don’t use those descriptors lightly. Sam is hilarious, quick-witted like his sister. He can always make you laugh. He is brilliant, he reads everything, and he can have an in-depth discussion on ANY topic you choose. Snakes? He can name every snake you can think of, if it’s poisonous or not and where it lives. Football? Name a team, a player, a game and he can discuss that with you. Books? He’s probably read it. (Today, he said to me that he would like to work in a library or bookstore someday. ) Poets? His favorites are T.S. Eliot, Leonard Cohen, and Dylan Thomas. 

My heart hurts.