14 Screws (Update for February 26, 2016)

Sam went to the neurosurgeon again this past Monday for a final visit before his surgery on February 29. The doctor said he was having the surgery at the right time, before more scar tissue formed on his head. His blood pressure was 99/57, fairly low. He will be admitted to the hospital Monday morning and will probably be there for two nights and three days. During the surgery, they will put 14 screws in his head to keep his skull in place, and probably have another 55 staples. I'm having a little bit of a hard time with that. But I know, realistically, that this is a new beginning.

#1 Sam Sitter

T-shirt by Jessica

Something good ... my sweet friend Jessica, a talented designer, did me a huge favor and designed a T-shirt for our "Sam Sitters" ... a gesture of our thankfulness for all of those giving up time for my family. Our "Sam Sitters" hang out with Sam when Bridget has to go to class or run errands. The T-shirts were delivered this week, and Sam and Bridget love them. Some people have asked me if they are for sale, but they are not for sale at this time. Weezy loves hers, even if it is a tad big.

Sam called me on the phone on Monday night to tell me about his doctor visit and how he was feeling. He is anxious, and nervous, about his surgery. It will free him from his helmet, but he will never be rid of the need to be careful. Never ever ever.

Sam, Bridget and Molly in Maggie's garden.

Sam has never been a risk taker, but he was an athletic kid — always going all out when playing sports. He broke his arm, not once, but twice growing up. Once playing playground football and once playing "shoe" hockey. Just kids being kids. He had to have surgery the first time. Then, later in high school, he injured his shoulder playing basketball, his ankle playing baseball, and probably a few other things. He played competitive soccer and all-star baseball throughout his younger years.

But his first love was always basketball. He attended the UALR basketball camp every summer since he was 6 years old. He won the free-throw shooting contest twice (plus a few other things). He played basketball at school, through the Boys' Clubs, and in a Church League (his favorite because he was with his best friends). And, he even played AAU basketball for popular Arkansas teams, the Wings and the Hawks. He was a 6'1" point guard who could shoot "the 3." He always made games exciting, winning many with last second shots. During the last few years, he played pickup games wherever and whenever he could, including with my friend and co-worker's (Matthew's) backyard league (literally, his backyard). At Portland State, he would play games with other students when he could.

And, now, at 26 years old, his basketball playing days are over. He said to me on Monday, "I can't believe I won't be able to play basketball anymore. But, that's ok, I can go to the gym and just shoot baskets by myself." I have shed a few tears over that every day since he told me that. It's a sobering reality to accept. My beautiful son has lost so much. He has always been sociable and friendly, and now he will be shooting baskets all alone. Trey, another friend and co-worker, who played with Sam at Matthew's house, said to me, "That's what bothers me, too. I didn't want to say anything to you. He is so good at basketball."

Sam and I also talked about our summer trip to Minnesota, and he said Bridget was going to bring her swimsuit. They had been looking forward to jet skis and boating. I told him he should bring his, too, but he said, "I probably won't need it." Another moment gone for him forever.

While Sam was in the trauma unit, I did an interview for a Wisconsin radio station. I only listened to it today. It made me cry. Here it is:

https://m.soundcloud.com/620-wtmj/mom-of-son-hospitalized-after-attack-due-to-his-packers-hat

I've been so heartbroken, and so many people have expressed empathy to my situation. Anyone who is a parent feels this with me every day. But, I wonder about the mother of the person who did this to my son. Does she feel my pain? Does she pray for Sam? I don't know her, and probably never will, but I wonder and think about her. I am questioning whether she does the same for me.

I won't blog again until Monday after Sam is out of surgery. Pray for him.

Thank you for reading this blog, and thinking about my precious son.